


Love Letter

by solelystevetony (orphan_account)



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:15:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24009466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/solelystevetony
Summary: The say the hardest decision a man can make is to leaving his own family to protect them. When Geralt is faced with this choice, for the first time he is stuck between his mind and heart on what to do.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Kudos: 29





	Love Letter

Dinner this evening at Kaer Morhen had been unusually quiet.

Everyone had been in the keep now for over two weeks as the bitter cold of winter began to set in the and the days grew shorter. Jaskier, had once again accompanied Geralt and young Ciri to the keep for company over the coming season, Geralt emphasizing it was in a 'strictly friends', sort of way. The other Witchers may have believed them had it been a once-off occasion but for the past three years Jaskier has accompanied the white-haired witcher to Kaer Morhen, as "friends".

Ciri and Lambert kept exchanging mischievous grins throughout the course of the meal which had begun to worry Geralt. Geralt didn't trust Lambert around Ciri. Not that he would cause her any harm, but anytime they trained or hunted together, she would always arrive back at Geralts' feet with a new array of colorful cuss words and worrying phrases. Ciri noticed Geralts glare out of the corner of her eye and turned her attention back to her food, biting her lip to stop herself from giggling allowed. Geralt shook his head and put down his utensils, "What is so funny, Ciri?"

Ciri looked up at the Witcher, her face going pale. Geralt could sense her growing nervous, "I was just thinking of a joke Lambert told me a few days ago."

Geralt glanced over at Lambert who didn't look up. Rather he played around with the food in his bowl, struggling to contain his own laughter. Geralt had been so focused on those two that he hadn't even noticed Eskel was sniggering to himself too, even Vesimer had a cheeky grin forming at the edge of his lips. Geralt, in no mood for their childish behavior, got up from the table and headed up to his room. He listened as the group pleaded for him to come back, and Ciri and Lambert finally bursting out in laughter as he closed the door behind him. As much as he wanted to find out what was so amusing, he was tired after a day of training both Ciri and Jaskier. He walked around his room for a while, his mind racing with thoughts.

He had been teaching Ciri how to fight and defend herself for nearly five years now and Jaskier approached his third year of basic training. He knew it was essential that Ciri continued her training, no matter Geralts faith, but Jaskier. Jaskier wouldn't need the training if Geralt wasn't around.

Geralt had begun to believe he was the cause of the bard's issues. Every time Jaskier got hurt or injured it could be tied back to Geralt with ease. Sure, the bard knew what he was signing up for, joining Geralt on his adventure across the lands but Geralt could not help but hold himself responsible for what happened to him. He could have just bought him a room at an inn for the night while he went off and completed contracts. Or maybe just refuse to take him whenever he had one. But he never did. He always wanted to know where Jaskier was wherever he went. Not in a controlling way, he needed the reassurance that he was there and well. Though, it always seemed to bring more harm than good.

Geralt was unsure of why he cared for Jaskier so much. Yes they were friend, but Geralt had plenty of friends whom he cared for yet her never brought them to Kaer Morhen and train them to defend themselves. When he was around Jaskier he felt as if a pit had just formed in his stomach, he would get lost for words and begin to stumble over his own tongue. The other Witchers found this highly amusing to watch. Geralt of Rivia, the Butcher of Blaviken, stuttering because the bard asked Geralt to pass him a loaf of bread. It seemed to hit Geralt all at once when he realized, he liked Jaskier in a more than friends way.

He had come the this realization a few days ago when him and Jaskier were sparring. Geralt was admiring the small details on Jaskiers face, while parrying strikes and dodging attacks. He had never noticed the way his eyes crinkled when he focused on a task, or how his ears would prick up when he went to say something that excited him. Jaskier had then struck Geralt in the side when he was out of focus, grazing the Witcher slightly. Geralt had never been great with words, to be honest he was not good with them either. He struggled to articulate his thoughts into words, resulting in him giving straightforward responses or simple nods. He had no idea how he was going to confront Jaskier about how he felt about him. That's when he decided to write him a letter.

The letter Geralt had become to write, nearly turned into a diary of such, where Geralt confessed his feelings towards Jaskier, but also his fears and concerns. So much so, that when writing the letter, he decided he was going to leave for good. It was no easy decision for Geralt to come to, after all Kaer Morhen was the closest thing to a home and family he had. Leaving meant he would have to leave Vesemir, the man he had grown to idolize and treat as his own father figure. Leave Lambert and Eskel. Geralt would never admit this aloud but he did view the two Witchers as his younger brothers and he had grown fiercely protective of them, even Lambert, despite how much of a idiot he could be at times. The hardest of all though was leaving Ciri. Despite what others may say, Ciri was Geralts daughter. Biologically, no. But he had raised her as his own and cared deeply for her. The idea of not being around for her to help with her training and watch her go on to do great things pained Geralt but he felt as if it was necessary to ensure to best for her. All this, he had written down in a letter for Jaskier. Not because he felt Jaskier should know, but because he trusted him. Jaskier could go on fine without knowing these tiny details that went around in Geralts mind, but he trusted Jaskier to keep them between the two of them, not matter how their lives panned out.

Geralt had decided he was leaving tonight. The snow had not fallen enough to block the mountain path so he and Roach would be able to leave quickly and quietly and have most their tracks, if not all covered. Geralt took and deep breath and went to look for the letter so he could slide it under Jaskiers door as he left. Quick and simple, but most of all he wouldn't have to face him.

Geralt opened the chest at the end of his bed and searched through it for the letter, panicking when he couldn't find it. He moved over the desk, Vesemir had so kindly given him and began to search through the sheets of theory and old contracts looking for the cursed letter. He swore to himself, realizing he wasn't in the pile on his desk either. Geralt bit the inside of his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut, realizing where the letter had gone. He slowly moved down the stairs, growing more anxious as he heard the laughter echo from the main room. Lambert's voice was the loudest, as he cleared his throat, "For Jaskier, the friend I care for most."

Geralt cringed, hearing his own words allowed. Maybe he should have done what the holy men of the lands do, swear an oath of silence for the remainder of his life.

"Lambert, I don't think its appropriate to read it out loud." He heard Eskel say, followed by some shuffling on the table, no doubt Eskels failed attempt to snatch the letter from the youngest Witcher, "Where's the fun in that my dear friend?"

"I agree with Eskel, Geralt wrote it for Jaskier." Ciri's voice followed, accompanied by a worrying silence, before Lambert's voice once again echoed throughout the keep ,"I'll just read the first few lines and then give it to the songbird."

"Dear Jaskier, it is strange to write this letter to you I must admit. While I would much rather say this too your face, I am afraid it is not possible this time my dear friend." Lambert said, mimicking Geralt's voice as best he could.

"This is both a letter of confession and regret. For you see my dear friend, I care for you in a way that I care for no other. I know you must be speculating what I am implying by this statement and yes, I like you. So much so that I have chosen to leave this land for your safety and well being..." Lambert trailed off, his eyes scanning ahead and reading more of the letter as fast as he could before Vesemir snatched it off him and began to read it out loud again.

"I know this may seem like an extreme or dramatic action but it is one I feel necessary not only for you, but for the others who now reside at Kaer Morhen. Danger has a terrible habit of following me no matter where I seem to go. Majority of the time, I fair fine, leaving battles with only a few scuffs, but you my dear bard have been caught in the cross-fire more often then I care to admit myself. By the time you read this letter I will be long gone, set on a new adventure where I can no longer hurt you or others. Please take care of Ciri for me. I have left her, her own letter under my pillow. When I'm gone she'll need someone to be there for her, to help her through the hard times...." Vesemir stopped and shook his head, "Ciri, go check to see if Geralt is in his chamber, Lambert, Eskel, prepare to leave the keep in case he has already ventured out."

Geralt sighed and stepped out from around the corner glaring at everyone at the table, "That won't be necessary."

Ciri let out a cry of relief. She pushed out from the table and ran over to Geralt, hugging him as tight as she could, fearing if she let go he would leave her. Geralt closed his eyes and hugged Ciri back, this feeling of guilt he had not felt in many years creeping up on him. When he opened his eyes, Ciri was stilling hugging him, her tears beginning to soak through the light armor he was wearing, when he glanced up, the four other men were still looking at him, shame and guilt in their facial expressions. Geralt pulled Ciri away from him gently and moved towards the table, Ciri clinging onto his finger tips as he sat down at a stole at the far end of the table, as far away as he could get from everyone. The silence in the room was unbearable, everyone feared to speak, yet they did not know why. Maybe it was because they didn't know what to say or worse they did not know the answer to what they may ask.

"Are you really going to leave?" Vesemir asked, breaking the silence. Geralt nodded his head, resulting in angry grunts and saddened looks from the others. Lambert banged his fists against the table, "I call bullshit."

"Lambert-"

"Shut up old man." Lambert snapped back, interrupting Vesemir, "You're telling me that you plan to leave all because of a little crush on songbird here? Because you're afraid you'll hurt him or one of us? I don't know if you have seen where we are Geralt but we're in the School of Wolf. A Witcher school, where we have been trained to hunt, kill and been stripped of all emotions. You have no right to leave."

"And why does it bother you so much, Lambert? Huh? What difference does it make to you if I go or stay?" Geralt snapped back, catching everyone off guard. Geralt looked over at Jaskier who was sat in the corner, appearing to be zoned out of the discussion entirely. Geralt took a deep breath, "I still plan to leave. Just see to everything in my letter is requested to, or make fun of it some more, it won't be my concern come tomorrow morn."

Geralt pulled away from Ciri and headed back towards his room to finish gathering what he needed. Ciri followed, standing close at his heal. He stood outside his door and sighed, turning to Ciri and bending down low to talk eye to eye with her, "You understand why I am doing this, right?"

Ciri shook her head, the tears rolling steadily down her cheeks, "No, I don't. It doesn't make any sense Geralt."

"It is what is best for you." He replied, brushing a strand of hair back behind her ear, she continued to shake her head, "No, you don't get to decide that Geralt.You always say we must never choose a side in conflict, but you are now. You choose your own side over others. So no, you don't get to decide what's best for me. I do. And I need you to stay."

Geralt grew silent and pulled Ciri in a hug, soothing her as she broke down in her arms. Geralt felt as if he could nearly cry himself, he had been unbearably selfish. But how could he go back now? If he decided to stay his world would be dramatically different, it would be impossible to o back to his normal way of living. As selfish as it was Geralt did not want to face the changes that will occur all because of his letter. Geralt was brought out of his trail of thought by Vesemir clearing his throat. Both the Witcher and Ciri glanced up at Vesemir. Geralt stood up and wiped Ciri's eyes clear of tears, "Go downstairs to the otherS young one, I need to talk to Geralt alone for a few moments."

Ciri gave Geralt once last hug before she sprinted off. Geralt opened his bedroom door and walked in, Vesemir close behind him. He closed the door shut as he entered and let out a deep sigh, "I know words aren't our way, but Geralt, please tell me why."

Geralt sat at the seat beside his desk, dragging his fingers across the sheets of paper scattered across it, "I'm pretty sure you read that letter as well Vesemir."

"Yes I did, we all did. We read all of it and we need you to know that we don't want you to leave Geralt. You are one of us and we protect our own." Vesemir responded sharply. That was the one thing Geralt admired about Vesemir the most. He was always certain in what he said and did. He always had a quick and perfect response to whatever question you threw at him.

"I... I don't know what to do." Geralt replied after a brief moment of silence. Witchers were trained to never doubt themselves, but he couldn't stop the thoughts creeping through his mind on whether he should fall through with his plan. He had already struggled with it enough, but having no choice but to face Ciri and the others it completely altered what he thought. Was it the right thing to leave? He had not stopped to think how it would actually affect those around him, those he was trying so hard to protect, though it seemed he would only bring them more harm.

Jaskier was sat downstairs at the dining table, watching closely as Eskel and Lambert squabbled over the letter which was now sat in front of Jaskier.

"He is being a selfish prick and you know it!" Lambert yelled, Eskel shook his head, "I told you to stop reading the blasted letter now look where we are! We're having a screaming match, the songbird has gone quiet, Ciri is off crying and only the Gods know what Vesemir is trying to accomplish by talking to him!"

"Oh you would have rather that we didn't read it and find out tomorrow? Imagine the scene then Eskel." Lambert snapped back before gazing down at Jaskier, "So what have you got to say."

"Nothing."

"Nothing? Look, the bard suddenly doesn't have anything to say, how convenient considering you're the cause of this."

"Lambert that is enough."

Jaskier took a deep breath, "I can see you are angry, and I do not blame you but do understand I am just as upset as you are Lambert. I did not wish for Geralt to leave nor do I want him to. However, blaming me for his choice is rather childish, wouldn't you agree?"

Lambert shook his head and stormed off from the table, kicking and hitting any object that came within his proximity as he left the room. Eskel sighed and rested his head against the table, "He won't leave."

"What makes you so sure?" Jaskier replied.

If there was one thing Jaskier knew for sure about Geralt, is what that he always kept his word. Jaskier had been impressed at the lengths he had gone to just to uphold an agreement made or complete a contract that was not worth more than a dozen crowns. But Geralt always completed them because he gave his word. So Jaskier was extremely worried Geralt was going to leave. Jaskier knew he had feelings for Geralt for a long time, though he can't say for sure when he came to that conclusion. He, himself had been working up the courage to say it to the white-haired Witcher but was fearful of what would happen if the feelings was not mutual.

"One, he cares for Ciri too much. Faith couldn't keep them apart, even if it tried. And two, the big goof cares for you too. I have never once seen Geralt write so much, even for theory when we were just boys." Eskel answered, gazing up at Jaskier with warm eyes, a nice change from the death glares he had been receiving from Lambert moments earlier. "Whenever Vesemir returns, go up and talk to him. Nothing me, Lambert or the old man could say to make him stay."

Geralt and Vesemir had been sat in silence for a few minutes now while Geralt thought about his choice, "I want to stay but after tonight, I don't think I can."

Vesemir chuckled, moving over to the younger Witcher and resting his hand on Geralt's shoulder. "Don't tell me you're afraid of Lambert and that smart-ass mouth of his."

Geralt cracked a small smile, "I'm going to go talk to Ciri, can you tell Jaskier I want to speak to him?"

"Of course," Vesemir replied, squeezing Geralt's shoulder once more before moving to the door, "And Geralt. I'm glad you're choosing to stay."

Geralt waved Vesemir goodbye and shook his head. Despite being old, Vesemir was still as sharp as ever. Geralt sighed looked at the letter he had prepared for Ciri. He picked it up and went to the room across from his and knock on the door gently. When no one answered he opened the door and saw Ciri's figure curled up in her bed sheet, small sniffles escaping from under it. Geralt moved towards it slowly, sitting down on the bed. Ciri wiped her nose as the weight of another person weighed down her mattress, "Go away, I don't want to talk to anyone!"

"Even me?"

Ciri pulled the covers from over her eyes and smiled, embracing Geralt. Geralt stroked his fingers through her hair gently, "Are you going to stay?"

Geralt glanced down at Ciri who was looking up at him with starry eyes. Geralt nodded his head, Ciri squealed and hugged him harder, "I knew you wouldn't leave!"

"Is that so? What is with all the tears then?" He replied, with a smirk. Ciri scowled, shaking her head, "It still isn't nice to say things like that."

Geralt nodded his head and apologized, taking the letter from his belt and placing it carefully in Ciri's hand. He squeezed it shut and locked eyes with her, "You, keep this letter. No matter what. When I eventually reach the end of my journey, I want you to open it. No sooner. Understood?"

Ciri nodded her head and held the letter close to her chest. Geralt smiled and brushed her hair back before telling her to get some sleep and leaving the room. When he entered his room again, Jaskier was stood awkwardly in the center, playing with his thumbs, scared to touch anything in case it tipped Geralt over the edge. Jaskier spun around on his heal when the door opened, greeting Geralt with a weak but loving smile. Geralt closed the door behind him and moved closer to Jaskier, once again unsure of what he wanted to say to him. He had most certainly read his letter, so there was no doubt he knew how he felt, but Geralt felt he needed to show it in person somehow.

Without a second thought, Geralt wrapped his arms around Jaskier and pulled him into a hug. Jaskier, startled at first, was slow to hug back but was sooner resting his head on Geralt's shoulder, relieved that Geralt was still there and he was able to have this moment with him. Geralt was still unsure whether Jaskier liked him back but going by his reaction to the sudden hug and his now steady heartbeat, he was sure Jaskier did not completely hate him yet. Gerealt was the first to pull away from the hug, moving his hand to Jaskiers cheek and running his thumb across it. It was such a simple gesture he had been longing to do to Jaskier, to feel what he saw daily. Jaskier held Geralt's hand to his face, closing his eyes and enjoying the surprisingly warm touch of the witcher. He let out a deep sigh before pulling Geralt's hand away from his face, "Why on earth did you think leaving was an acceptable option?"

Geralt bit his bottom lip, trying to think of the easiest and quickest way to say it, "I wanted to keep you safe."

"I'm pretty sure I would be safer with the protection of a Witcher." Jaskier responded quickly, not giving Geralt much chance to think about how he was going to follow up on his last statement.

"I thought...I thought, if I left, you would no longer be in danger because you were no longer around me. No more monsters or beasts would attack you because of me." Jaskier nodded his head and chuckled a little, resting his head on Geralt's chest.

Jaskiers heart swooned, realising how much Geralt cared from him. He could only wonder if Geralt's heart was doing the same. He was well aware that Geralt had the emotional capacity of a brick on wheels but it was evident that he did love Ciri and the other Witchers in the keep, whether he would admit it was a different story however. He also cared for Jaskier. Jaskier lifted his head up and locked eyes with Geralt, "Promise me you'll never do anything as stupid as that again."

"I promise." Geralt smiled, cupping Jaskiers face and leaning in slowly, delicately placing a kiss on Jaskiers lips. Jaskier was much quicker to respond, leaning in against Geralt and kissing him back more passionately. The two men pulled away and smiled at each other.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.


End file.
